A Sealed Chapter

Hey peopleeeee! Its been so long since I last posted anything here. I haven't been writing for awhile. To be honest, at one point, I felt lost. I lost the motivation and inspiration to write. And its such a torture because writing has always been something I love doing. And for me to feel like I've lost touch with one thing that I love doing the most was kind of depressing.

But I tried to find it back.. To find it back from people around me. To find it back from my surroundings. And thanks to poetry classes that I somehow got motivated again. Here is a poem that I recently wrote, and I thought of sharing it here as well instead of just keeping it in my book.

A SEALED CHAPTER

You’re the chapter that I’ve finished up writing,

Like the wind that has long gone spinning,

Like the leaves flying away taken by the breeze,

Like the waves on the shore returning to the sea.

You’re the chapter that I’ve finished up writing,

The inks that cannot anymore be erased,

The pages that have been sealed,

The written words that cannot be removed.

You’re the chapter that I’ve finished up writing,

Words that I still keep close to my heart,

Words that I hope you would utter,

Words that I will always remember.

You’re the chapter that I’ve finished up writing,

That I wish I could rewrite,

That I wish could be undone,

That I wish I did not even start.

You’re the chapter that I’ve finished up writing,

A part of me that has long been lost,

A part of me that I don’t want to recall,

A part of me that I wish had stayed.

You’re the chapter that I’ve finished up writing,

Like the flowers that have lost the scent,

Like the river changing its flow,

Like the raindrop that has fallen on the ground.

You’re the chapter that I’ve finished up writing,

The one that forever will be sacred,

The one that I will always keep as a secret,
The one, my favourite.

I started writing this poem months back but was never able to finish it. I completed it just a few days ago while sitting in the library with Salman and Nasreen with me. Its not that you guys inspired me or anything :P  but thank you for always being by my side. And to my Izzy too! And I have to give credits to Sara for helping me in coming up with the title. I love you peeps <3

Finding flaws

Whatever applies in a relationship very much applies in friendship as well. For friendship is the base to build a healthy relationship. We may find flaws when together, but it is not to use them against each tother but to accept them. Loving a friend means loving them for who they are because people are different and you can't change that.

...

you're not giving me the attention that I need

what else should I do

what else can I do

when every nerve in my body craves for it

and I'm not getting any of my wishes

I WANT TO

I want to share every little thing I see everyday with you. I want to share it with you when I see a cute couple walking together in the park. I want to share it with you when I see a new book on the display. I want to share it with you when I see a new movie coming out. I want to share it with you when I see a documentary on something about the universe. I want to share it with you of what I think and how I feel about those things because I know you would always have something to say about it too. You have your way of seeing things. You have your way in living life. And that is what I love the most. 

To all of you kids, and myself :)

This is something that I want to remind all the young people again, including myself..

In this phase of life you're facing now, I can tell that it is not an easy one. You might have troubles in finding friends, you feel like no one can hear you out, you think nobody cares about you, you feel like you're carrying a super heavy load on your shoulders, you feel like no one understands you anymore, you want to be alone but you don't want to be alone, you want people to reach out to you but at the same time you don't want it.. All the confusions, all the drama, all the shit thats going on in your life. You just wanna get away with it, but you can't.

You cannot just get away with it. Because whatever you're going through with your life right now, it makes you the person you choose to become one day. You find yourself through your struggles. Every obstacle you face in your life, big or small, it changes you in a way. And every one of those will make you appreciate life even more. You choose, for the better or worse. Its all on you.

For you young kids, later on in life you will meet a lot more different people from different backgrounds. Five years ago I never imagined my life as it is right now. I used to think that people had similar way of thinking. I thought they would be more compassionate and loving towards each other. But as I grew up, I could see not everybody has the same heart as we do. Not everybody feels deeply sadden by things that I know would affect me the most. Because we're not the same. And from where I'm standing right now, I see people that think differently, they have different views on how they see life, they have different objectives in their life, they have different definition on every matter.. And we have to learn how to accept each of that.

Also you will see how some people trying to fit in with the society. Its happening now. It is going on very badly that I don't see them as individuals anymore, in fact I see them as a group of people that try to duplicate each other. In the sense of fashion, the sense of mentality.. Some people are afraid to actually point out their views and thoughts on something just because not everybody thinks the way they do. This is not how its supposed to be. With the world we live in today and every opportunity we get, we should be more open and respectful with each other's idea.

And of course at this age, we always want to try something new. It is all about having fun, experiencing life, making memories, good or bad so you would have stories to tell your grandkids one day. It is good. Creating memories, going out there to experience life is not a bad thing at all. But don't go too much on it to make it ruin your entire life. You should know that there are limits to everything. You should set boundaries to everything you do. And most importantly you have to stand to your roots. You will find people trying to trigger that one nerve in you that will make you go against yourself. You must always remember that you only have yourself when everybody leaves, so you don't want to harm yourself. Have faith in you.

Peer pressure is real, I tell you. So you would want to find friends that'd do good to you. You gotta surround yourself with people that want the best for you, and they want you to be happy because without happiness you won't be enjoying life. You will find people that try to pull you down the stairs but you gotta find people that will willingly pull you up there back again.

You have to always stay true to yourself. Stand on your ground. Do not let other people change you to become worse. Do not let them take out the positive vibes in you. Do not let them erase the enthusiasm you have in yourself because not everybody has that. Do not let them destroy your dreams. Do not be like them, because being yourself is very rare nowadays. You gotta always have that spark in you that lightens up each person that enters your life.

This message is for all of us young people who are struggling.. I remember someone once told me that we all connect through our struggles, which is very true and it got me thinking how we actually experience that everyday.

We never stop struggling because that is life. We struggle our way to find ourselves. We struggle our way to find our goals. We struggle our way to find God.

Flying Away

I always love seeing planes flying up in the sky. 

Knowing that everyone in there has a destination. They 

have some place to head to. And there is  someone in

some corner of the world waiting for them. 

To embrace them into their arms. To feel the warmth of their kiss. 

I love seeing people rushing at the airport. Everyone

has a flight to catch. Some are heading back to a place 

they call home. Some are heading to a whole new place 

filled with strangers. When it comes to me, I prefer the latter. 

To be able to go to a place of strangers, to a new city with 

fresh new faces with new unfamiliar smell. I crave for that. 

Getting out of here, be on a plane heading somewhere 

towards the southwest. 

wonder and wander

Its always language and Geography

Its weird but thats how I like it

I am still wondering

but I guess I just love mysteries 

I am still wandering 

but I guess I will just let the wind takes me to my next destination

And I will leave it all to you to make the next step on the stairs of destiny. 

.

The Internet is slowly killing my brain cells.


HOW IRONIC... 

I have other plans

Watching all these movies about romance and weddings makes me wanna have my own love story and plan my wedding day. 

But that ain't gonna happen anytime soon. 

Being a 21 year old girl, just like everyone else my age.. we have dreams to catch, things to accomplish before we start a life with someone else. Marriage is a huge commitment and I'm not ready for that yet. I still have a whole world out there to see. I still have goals to score. Getting married is probably one of them, but thats not my concern right now. 

I used to be worried about getting married. But since these past few months, I started to see things differently. Something hit me and I think marriage is not the answer to everything that I want. Of course it would delightful if you already found someone who's willing to sacrifice for your happiness. But if you haven't, don't fret. It's still a long journey ahead. And I am ready to explore it.