First impressions

People say first impression is always important. But I screw up most of the time.

I usually screw it up when I'm nervous. When I get nervous, or overly excited I always say something silly and stupid.

Just recently, this one person came to talk to me. It wasn't the first time,, but actually it kinda was. That was the first proper one to one conversation that we had.

And I said something so stupid, I still can't stop thinking about it. I felt like ripping my face off and hid it somewhere else because it was so embarrassing. But I didn't want to do that. Because he's cute, and I want to see him again hehee. But I'm not sure if he still wants to see me! hahaha

Also sometimes when you have guests in your house. Some of your relatives from Pakistan come to the house out of the blue, or your dad's friends drop by for some tea in the morning, and you have no idea about it. Just when you walk down the stairs, to the living room, with your still-no-shower-morning-face, and you see them and they see you and there's no turning back so you just got to salaam all of them and kiss them in both cheeks. Its so annoying and depressing when that happens to me. So I would just later run up the stairs and take a bath.

I screw up most of my first impressions. Eh no, most of people's first impressions toward me. Is that correct?

I need a second chance. Please, give me another shot :)

Unappreciated..

I should be doing my assignment right now but I just can't put my mind to it.

I always talk about myself here so here it goes..

People always see me as a friendly and a cheerful person. Always having fun and laughing and loud. So full of energy and enthusiastic (on certain things).

But people forget me when I'm quiet. They don't give a damn about me when I'm not the usual salsabila.

It hurts. I'm not a strong person. I'm not tough.

Some of them come to me when they have problems and I welcome them with open arms. I can't solve all the problems in the world but I listen.

They say they love you, but they don't show any signs of loving.

I know its unfair for me to say this, but its frustrating when they don't do the same to you.

I don't live alone in this world. We always need someone to be near us. To be with us. To cherish us.

To some extent, I don't think these people appreciate me at all.