Breathing Arabic…. Pheeeeew

Most of you might already know that I failed my Arabic paper in the final exam so I had to go to CFS for a resit. And I did. I went there last week. But what most of you guys do not know is, I failed the resit. The A&R department called me a few days ago saying that I have to REPEAT Arabic. Kalb!

I don't know what I did wrong. I think I did well in the exams but maybe that wasn't enough for me to pass. I don't know what else to think. I thought of dropping out from IIUM no kidding. I have never felt this miserable and wretched. Thinking about it makes me depressed.

I was very close to end the IIUM chapter in my life book.

Then I went deep thinking about it. The logic behind it.

I also talked to my parents and family about dropping out from IIUM. And my Dad gave me options, the decision is all in my hand.

Since we only have one more month before the short semester ends, why not I give it another try. ONE LAST TRY. Another shot, another chance. So yes. I have made up my mind. I am going to try one more time in the pursuit of passing Arabic.

The classes for repeaters like me have already started since yesterday. I'm joining a bit late. I was having mental breakdown, seriously, pondering about what to do with my life, making the right decisions. I'm hoping that they will still allow me to join in.

Dada said learning something new is never wrong. Its for our own knowledge, and Arabic is the language of Quran so it will help me in understanding the Quran better.

I will probably be back in CFS by next week. I expect none of you would come up and ask me silly questions. I have explained everything here so I'm not looking forward to anything like that, I hope you understand.

To those in CFS, I will see you soon. Those in Gombak, if everything goes well, I will see you too inshaAllah.

No ragrets? Uh uh

You know the feeling that you don't know what to do, where to go, who to seek, how to get out of here.

I feel so lost right now. I don't know what else do I want in life. I'm hanging in the mid of the air. I have my family here with me but why this feeling?

Everything pisses me off. Nothing is right. I don't feel like talking. I don't know what is wrong…. Well everything is wrong actually.

We just got our exam result. And I have to resit my arabic paper, as expected of course. Its killing me. Why oh why do they have to make it so freaking hard. These people are torturing students to death. What do they want. For us to die studying to achieve that certain level. Its ridiculous.

The purpose of studying is to gain knowledge. To love what we learn. To enjoy it. To have fun with it. What we are doing here,, is no close to that.

Let me tell you the purpose of me learning arabic in UIA - TO PASS LEVEL 5 AND THAT WILL BE IT I WANT NOTHING MORE.

Maybe the ustaz hates me for skipping arabic classes, but I think I did quite well (for a level 2 student) in the finals. God knows.

I'm considering of moving to a university in Bangkok. Have already started with my survey. If things really work out, I will definitely drop out from UIA.

For us BEN and HS students to learn arabic until level 5 is unfair while other courses only got to take it until level 2.

Yea I know English and Arabic are the main languages they use in UIA. That is why I'm starting to regret coming here.

I don't easily regret any decision I've made. But this one? I'm not sure.